She told us to "do something with time," and that was it. Can you get any broader? Although this assignment has caused me to suffer from a few slight headaches and maybe even a little loss of sleep, it has really pushed my thinking. Time means something different to everyone. I have decided to create a mini-documentary of sorts, posing random people with the question of what they would do if they knew this was the last 24 hours of time they had on earth? I know this sort of thing has been done, but I think the more important aspect is the follow up question that I want to ask them. Why aren't you doing these things? What are you waiting for? My sole intention may be a selfish one. Maybe if I can understand the hesitations of others, I will understand my own better. Therefore, I don't have something tangible to present to the class at this point, but I will in the weeks to come. I want to make this meaningful, and I want to present it in a way that makes us all think.
In this mean time, I decided I needed to stop being so organized and stingy with my own time. My time, just like most aspects of my life, is very organized. I can pretty much tell you on any given day what exactly I will be doing at any given time. You should see my calendar. It's actually kind of sick. I am taking 24 credit hours this semester, and I think I have convinced myself that a neat and tidy schedule will keep me from going insane. I am beginning to wonder the schedule in itself is a cause more mild insanity. But that's a different story.
My faith in Christ is constantly convicting me to give back to others. I truly believe that everything I have is from Him and could be taken away from me at any moment. Since I have really earned nor deserve nothing, I feel pushed to share what I have with others. I need to confess; however, that even my giving is scheduled. It is a high priority in my life, and I would rarely chose to do anything else over my set-aside time to help others or further my understanding of my own faith, but this time is pre-determined time none the less. I rarely jump at a spontaneous opportunity to love on others, something that has been eating at me for a while now.
My fiance, Todd has developed a really awesome friendship with a man named Flandera. He lives under the bridge a block away from my apartment. If Todd and I talk about it ahead of time, I will sometimes cook a larger portion of dinner to share with Flandera, and sometimes I even go with Todd to talk to him in the evenings. But only if I've allowed time for it in my schedule. Most evenings, Todd just jumps up out of no where and says he is going to go talk to Flandera. And I usually stay home and work on homework. That is my homework time, not my volunteer time. I want to live like Jesus, but Jesus on a schedule. I highly doubt the son of God kept a little calendar to organize his life. He lived by love. Why is it that I can only spend time with my homeless neighbor when I designate it ahead of time. That's crap, and I'm honestly embarrassed to write about it.
Tonight, my homework will wait. I've got about 3 hours of symbolic logic blocked out that is just going to have fit in somewhere else. I'm going to go with Todd and get to know my neighbor a little better. I'm am almost positive I could learn more from him than I could from this 20 pound text book on symbols that I can't understand. And frankly, he's worth it. He is worth every second.
The New PostSecret Book
9 years ago
4 comments:
I was moved by your project, but something came to mind. Please don't take this the wrong way, because it actually is meant as a positive thing... Have you ever thought about the day when you will do these things not out of a sense of because you "should" in order to be a good person and closer to Christ, but because it is second nature? Do you think there will come a day when you don't even think about how "good" an action is, you just do it? I think that is what you are evolving toward, but the fact that you "try" so hard to do these kindnesses (and I am sooooo glad you are doing them!) makes me wonder if you are keeping score. But at least you are doing them. The world could certainly use a few more (a lot more) people like you! I know it is part of the struggle of being human and a good Christian, but when you can let go of the mental tally of good acts then you will achieve true goodness. Or at least that is what I think. Regardless, brava to you!
I am in 100% agreement with you. I very much want loving on everyone I meet to be a second nature to me. Right now, it is simply part of my schedule. I want to say to hell with my schedule and live my constant *random* acts of kindness and love to everyone that I meet, regardless of what I have penciled in for that particular hour on my calendar. My desire for organization has stopped me from doing this in the past, and I really want to make a change in myself.
'Jesus on a schedule' I love it. Your heart is in the right place and I admire that you have such a tight schedule. With 24 credit hours it is probably a good idea. I wish i had that kind of conviction. My life is as random as my thoughts. You have a lot on your plate right now and someday (maybe after college) you will have the time for spontaneity.
I believe one of the most important things in life is to live according to Christ. It is hard enough being a christian with so many obstacles and other people giving good Christians a bad name. No matter how organized you may be, I'm sure you'll know when you need to change your schedule to help your fellow man. On the other hand, how well would you be able to handle 24 credit hours if you weren't so organized. Best of luck finding a comfortable medium.
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