"What if God had an answering machine?"

This what if inspired me to head on over to the wonderful world of Google. Although this is extremely cheesy (I did NOT write it), I thought it was funny. The end is the best, for sure!

Thank you for calling My Father's House.

Please select one of the following four options:
Press 1 for requests.
Press 2 for thanksgiving.
Press 3 for complaints.
Press 4 for all other inquiries.

If you'd like to speak with Gabriel, press 1.
For Michael, press 2.
For any other angel, press 3."
"If you'd like King David to sing a psalm for you, press 6."
"To find out if your relative is here, enter his/her date of death and listen for the list that follows."
"For reservations at My Father's House, press the letters J-o-h-n followed by the number 3-1-6."
"Answers to nagging questions about the age of the earth and where Noah's ark is, wait until you get here!"
"Our computers show that you have called once today already. Please hang up immediately." "This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again Monday."
End of message.

You only need to ring once and God hears you. Because of Jesus, you never get a busy signal. God takes each call and knows each caller personally.

Emergency Phone Numbers:
When in sorrow, call John 14.
When men fail you, call Psalm 27.
If you want to be fruitful, call John 15.
When you have sinned, call Psalm 51.
When you worry, call Matthew 6:19-34.
When you are in danger, call Psalm 91.
When God seems far away, call Psalm 139.
When your faith needs stirring, call Hebrews 11.
When you are lonely and fearful, call Psalm 23.
When you grow bitter and critical, call 1 Cor. 13.
For Paul's secret to happiness, call Col. 3:12-17.
For idea of Christianity, call 1 Cor. 5:15-19.
When you feel down and out, call Romans 8:31-39.
When you want peace and rest, call Matt. 11:25-30.
When the world seems bigger than God, call Psalm 90.
When you want Christian assurance, call Romans 8:1-30.
When you leave home for labor or travel, call Psalm 121.
When your prayers grow narrow or selfish, call Psalm 67.
For a great invention/opportunity, call Isaiah 55.
When you want courage for a task, call Joshua 1.
How to get along with fellowmen, call Romans 12.
When you think of investments/returns, call Mark 10.
If you are depressed, call Psalm 27.
If your pocketbook is empty, call Psalm 37.
If you're loosing confidence in people, call 1 Cor. 13.
If people seem unkind, call John 15.
If discouraged about your work, call Psalm 126.
If you find the world growing small and yourself great, call Psalm 19.

Emergency numbers may be dialed direct. No operator assistance is necessary.

Giving a little *time*

She told us to "do something with time," and that was it. Can you get any broader? Although this assignment has caused me to suffer from a few slight headaches and maybe even a little loss of sleep, it has really pushed my thinking. Time means something different to everyone. I have decided to create a mini-documentary of sorts, posing random people with the question of what they would do if they knew this was the last 24 hours of time they had on earth? I know this sort of thing has been done, but I think the more important aspect is the follow up question that I want to ask them. Why aren't you doing these things? What are you waiting for? My sole intention may be a selfish one. Maybe if I can understand the hesitations of others, I will understand my own better. Therefore, I don't have something tangible to present to the class at this point, but I will in the weeks to come. I want to make this meaningful, and I want to present it in a way that makes us all think.

In this mean time, I decided I needed to stop being so organized and stingy with my own time. My time, just like most aspects of my life, is very organized. I can pretty much tell you on any given day what exactly I will be doing at any given time. You should see my calendar. It's actually kind of sick. I am taking 24 credit hours this semester, and I think I have convinced myself that a neat and tidy schedule will keep me from going insane. I am beginning to wonder the schedule in itself is a cause more mild insanity. But that's a different story.

My faith in Christ is constantly convicting me to give back to others. I truly believe that everything I have is from Him and could be taken away from me at any moment. Since I have really earned nor deserve nothing, I feel pushed to share what I have with others. I need to confess; however, that even my giving is scheduled. It is a high priority in my life, and I would rarely chose to do anything else over my set-aside time to help others or further my understanding of my own faith, but this time is pre-determined time none the less. I rarely jump at a spontaneous opportunity to love on others, something that has been eating at me for a while now.

My fiance, Todd has developed a really awesome friendship with a man named Flandera. He lives under the bridge a block away from my apartment. If Todd and I talk about it ahead of time, I will sometimes cook a larger portion of dinner to share with Flandera, and sometimes I even go with Todd to talk to him in the evenings. But only if I've allowed time for it in my schedule. Most evenings, Todd just jumps up out of no where and says he is going to go talk to Flandera. And I usually stay home and work on homework. That is my homework time, not my volunteer time. I want to live like Jesus, but Jesus on a schedule. I highly doubt the son of God kept a little calendar to organize his life. He lived by love. Why is it that I can only spend time with my homeless neighbor when I designate it ahead of time. That's crap, and I'm honestly embarrassed to write about it.

Tonight, my homework will wait. I've got about 3 hours of symbolic logic blocked out that is just going to have fit in somewhere else. I'm going to go with Todd and get to know my neighbor a little better. I'm am almost positive I could learn more from him than I could from this 20 pound text book on symbols that I can't understand. And frankly, he's worth it. He is worth every second.