Giving a little *time*

She told us to "do something with time," and that was it. Can you get any broader? Although this assignment has caused me to suffer from a few slight headaches and maybe even a little loss of sleep, it has really pushed my thinking. Time means something different to everyone. I have decided to create a mini-documentary of sorts, posing random people with the question of what they would do if they knew this was the last 24 hours of time they had on earth? I know this sort of thing has been done, but I think the more important aspect is the follow up question that I want to ask them. Why aren't you doing these things? What are you waiting for? My sole intention may be a selfish one. Maybe if I can understand the hesitations of others, I will understand my own better. Therefore, I don't have something tangible to present to the class at this point, but I will in the weeks to come. I want to make this meaningful, and I want to present it in a way that makes us all think.

In this mean time, I decided I needed to stop being so organized and stingy with my own time. My time, just like most aspects of my life, is very organized. I can pretty much tell you on any given day what exactly I will be doing at any given time. You should see my calendar. It's actually kind of sick. I am taking 24 credit hours this semester, and I think I have convinced myself that a neat and tidy schedule will keep me from going insane. I am beginning to wonder the schedule in itself is a cause more mild insanity. But that's a different story.

My faith in Christ is constantly convicting me to give back to others. I truly believe that everything I have is from Him and could be taken away from me at any moment. Since I have really earned nor deserve nothing, I feel pushed to share what I have with others. I need to confess; however, that even my giving is scheduled. It is a high priority in my life, and I would rarely chose to do anything else over my set-aside time to help others or further my understanding of my own faith, but this time is pre-determined time none the less. I rarely jump at a spontaneous opportunity to love on others, something that has been eating at me for a while now.

My fiance, Todd has developed a really awesome friendship with a man named Flandera. He lives under the bridge a block away from my apartment. If Todd and I talk about it ahead of time, I will sometimes cook a larger portion of dinner to share with Flandera, and sometimes I even go with Todd to talk to him in the evenings. But only if I've allowed time for it in my schedule. Most evenings, Todd just jumps up out of no where and says he is going to go talk to Flandera. And I usually stay home and work on homework. That is my homework time, not my volunteer time. I want to live like Jesus, but Jesus on a schedule. I highly doubt the son of God kept a little calendar to organize his life. He lived by love. Why is it that I can only spend time with my homeless neighbor when I designate it ahead of time. That's crap, and I'm honestly embarrassed to write about it.

Tonight, my homework will wait. I've got about 3 hours of symbolic logic blocked out that is just going to have fit in somewhere else. I'm going to go with Todd and get to know my neighbor a little better. I'm am almost positive I could learn more from him than I could from this 20 pound text book on symbols that I can't understand. And frankly, he's worth it. He is worth every second.